The Stepdad Diaries: CH. 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN: RIGHT WHERE I AM

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT doing an oil change that keeps your hands busy enough your brain doesn’t get a say in what it wants to think about.

But it doesn’t seem to be working. Not even close. My brain keeps circling back to last night like it’s stuck on a loop I can’t shut off, replaying it piece by piece whether I want it to or not. Not the whole thing—just the best parts—the parts that are seared in my brain. The way he touched me, like he wasn’t guessing, like he already knew. The way he kissed me, like it meant something more than just heat, something steadier underneath it. The way he took over, fucked me with my own dildo like it wasn’t even a question, like I’d already given him that kind of control without realizing it.

And the worst part is how clear it all still feels. Not distant. Not fuzzy. Every second of it sits right under my skin, sharp and immediate, like it’s still happening somewhere just out of reach.

And then I went and ruined the whole thing by telling Jeff that I loved him.

I told him I loved him.

What the hell was I thinking.

It wasn’t even a thought. That’s the problem. It just came out—no warning, no filter—like it had been sitting there waiting for the first crack in the moment to slip through.

I love you—three words that hit harder than anything else I said all night.

And as soon as it did, I felt it. The shift. The way everything changed in the space of a second.

And instead of staying—of owning it, or even trying to explain it—I bolted.

I told him I loved him—and then I ran.

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